A Self-Motivation Guide: 5 Ways to Talk Yourself Out of a Bad Mood
Do you ever have those days when you cannot explain why you feel down? I have those days sometimes and they hit me like a ton of bricks. It is an immobilizing feeling that can leave you feeling unmotivated and spiraling into the depths of despair.
No matter the mental health challenge, we can all benefit from learning how to self-regulate our moods. Here are some coping skills I use to motivate myself when I am feeling down.
1. Have a Conversation with Yourself
Ask yourself, “How am I feeling?” Try to express what you are feeling (i.e., sad, alone, anxious). Sometimes simply naming the feeling can help put your mood into perspective.
Taking this a step further, it can be helpful to ask yourself why you are feeling what you are feeling. Identifying the root cause of your emotion may not make you feel better immediately, but it could help you to better understand yourself.
2. Consider What Could Make You Feel Better
Start by giving attention to your basic needs. When we are suffering emotionally, we tend to forget what we need. Are you tired or hungry? If needed, allow yourself to rest. A short nap can reset your mood and leave you feeling physically refreshed. Cooking for yourself or ordering in your favorite meal ensures that you are nourished. Having a nourished and energized body could play a significant role in regulating your mood overall.
Once your basic needs are met, try to gently challenge yourself to engage in a healthy activity that can help to elevate your mood. Physical activities usually do the trick for me such as going for a walk, doing yoga, or playing sports. If you do not have the capacity or ability to engage in physical activities, consider reading, listening to music, or journaling. Sometimes finding the strength to do chores around the house works wonders as it contributes to your well-being, and you feel better when your home feels in order.
3. Acknowledge the Good Things Happening in Your Life
This exercise is meant to be less intimidating than it sounds and should help you to build yourself up. It can undoubtedly be difficult to think about what is going well in your life when it feels like there is a whirlwind of stress swirling around you. Remind yourself about the small things in your life that make you happy. Try to celebrate yourself and the challenges small and big that you have overcome. Think about your strengths, passions, and accomplishments.
My personal examples: Celebrating when I get things checked off my to-do list. Appreciating how much I love my apartment. Feeling proud that I have been meeting my goal of cooking and baking more rather than ordering out.
4. Control the Controllables
I love watching professional tennis. Tennis matches exemplify the human capacity for self-motivation under pressure in real-time. Brad Gilbert, a tennis professional and coach, uses the phrase “control the controllables” when coaching his players. Especially when the player is not playing their best and their opponent is out playing them.
I think Brad’s advice is perfect for anyone feeling out of sorts emotionally, physically, or functionally. It is beneficial to be present and to focus on what we can control. Additionally, it is beneficial to learn how to let go of what we cannot control. This letting go may not be permanent. However, whether it be for a moment or a lifetime, letting go of what we cannot control can free us.
Example: We cannot change the harm that was done to us in the past, but we can control our will to continue living, healing, and pressing forward in the present.
5. Phone a Friend
Though the ability to motivate ourselves is valuable, it goes without saying that the ultimate form of support is to reach out for help from anyone in your support system. Whether that be a friend, family member, or therapist.
Consider calling up a friend or family member to vent or ask for help. Sometimes we try to carry everything on our own but sharing our burden with others is the way to make it lighter and easier to bear.
Photo by Alex Green
