What Do I Do Outside of Therapy?
Book Recommendations From a Therapist
I often have clients ask me for book recommendations and so I decided to compile a brief list of current books I’m finding insightful and important. So much of our personal work happens outside of the therapy room, and books are a great place to start. I firmly believe healing and growth can be even more meaningful nestled within a community, so I encourage you to invite a friend, family member, or book club to read alongside you and to share insights together.
Enjoy!
When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön
This is the first book I recommend to someone who is sitting in the rubble aftermath of loss: losing love, losing what we knew to be true, losing security, losing a loved one. This is the book to pick up when you are crumpled on the kitchen floor crying it out and need to know what to do next. Pema Chödrön offers wisdom and guidance for navigating life's inevitable losses and invites us to embrace–rather than resist–the groundlessness, impermanence, and vulnerability of life. And that, maybe, it is in that groundless space that we really get to know ourselves.
All About Love by bell hooks
Author bell hooks offers a radical rethinking of love in this book, challenging how modern society has defined, limited, and misidentified love. She reminds us that “to love well is the task in all meaningful relationships, not just romantic bonds.” This book has been a cornerstone for me and is a must read.
Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
This book explores attachment theory and its implications for adult relationships, offering insights into how attachment styles influence communication, intimacy, and conflict resolution. This book is one of my first recommendations for clients that are wanting to better understand how their early life experiences impact how they show up in relationships. Becoming aware of and working with your attachment style can help us access the connection we so deeply crave.
How You Do Anything is How You Do Everything: A Workbook by Cheri Huber
I used this workbook for the first time in grad school, and loved the ways it allowed me to engage with thoughtful questions in a simple, creative, and playful way. I recommend it for personal or group prompts and as a way to engage vulnerably with yourself and others!
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
This book has been life-changing for so many of my clients. Emily Nagoski explores the science of female sexuality, debunking myths and offering practical advice for embracing one's unique sexual response and enhancing pleasure. Another must-read for anyone wanting to explore and expand their relationship to sex and pleasure.
How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy by Jenny Odell
In this book that is needed now more than ever, Jenny Odell challenges the culture of constant productivity and offers a compelling argument for reclaiming our attention and reconnecting with the world around us. An important read on resisting the capitalist narratives of efficiency above all else.
The Hurting Kind by Ada Limón
As the 24th Poet Laureate of the United States, all of Ada Limon’s work is wonderful. Poetry can be a powerful conduit to feel our emotions and have our human experience mirrored back to us. I find immense power and healing for clients in the creative act of reading and writing their own art and poetry, and Ada’s work is a wonderful place to get inspired.
Inciting Joy by Ross Gay
A friend loaned me some of Ross Gay’s work during a time of transition when finding delight, gratitude, and joy was exactly what I needed. Ross’ essays celebrate the small moments of joy and wonder that enrich our lives, offering a poignant reminder to find beauty and gratitude in the everyday. I often revisit these essays when I need to be reminded, amidst the pain, what a delight it is to be alive.
Additional reading: Joy, Zadie Smith (Essay)
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb
I am notoriously bad at finishing books and this one I read twice in a row! Lori Gottlieb shares insights from her work as a therapist and as a client, interweaving stories and reflections on the human condition and the therapeutic process. A fun and meaningful read.
I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy
This memoir is a hilarious and heartbreaking must read. Jennette McCurdy reflects on her time as a child actor, confronting issues like eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her controlling mother. Jennette balances sharing her story with striking vulnerability and hilarious candor; highly recommend the audio book if you prefer to listen!
My Grandmother's Hands by Resmaa Menakem
Resmaa Menakem explores the intergenerational trauma of racism and offers a healing path forward for humanity. This book is powerful and necessary. He offers embodied practices for facing our pain and the pain of others. “We will not end white-body supremacy - or any form of human evil - by trying to tear it to pieces. Instead, we can offer people better ways to belong and better things to belong to.”
How To Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan
Michael Pollan investigates the therapeutic potential of psychedelics for treating trauma, depression, and other mental health conditions, offering a nuanced exploration of the science and culture surrounding these substances. I find this an important read as we balance the power of psychedelics in healing with the risk of colonizing something historically sacred.
Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy
Every parent I know comes to quickly love and feel supported by the work of Dr. Becky Kennedy. In this book, she offers anyone who has relationships to children invaluable guidance in parenting rooted in “connection over correction.” I appreciate the sturdy and empowering philosophy, insight, and strategies that Dr Becky offers parents. I am currently learning to incorporate this question into my work: “What is my most generous interpretation of what just happened?”
For book recommendations on depression, check out Myron Nelson’s book recommendations here! https://www.howtobeaburden.com/learn-about-depression
