8 Meaningful Ways to Connect with the Older Adults in Your Life
By: Sam Hardy, MFT
As summer comes to a close and autumn weather arrives, I absolutely love seeing pumpkins and fall decor strewn about the aisles of Target and Jewel Osco. The colorful Halloween costumes and warm colors seem to mark the beginning of the end of the 2022 year (gasp!). This exciting transition to fall also acts as a prologue to the holiday season - a time filled with delicious food and beloved traditions. For many, this time is distinguished by gatherings with family, friends, or loved ones. However, especially during this time of year, I am also reminded of the older adults who cannot visit with relatives due to physical challenges, geographic distance, or financial concerns.
Let’s peek at the research surrounding loneliness in older adult populations. In 2020, The National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine reported that over one-third of adults aged 45 and older feel lonely. It was also discovered that almost one-fourth of adults aged 65 and older are believed to be socially isolated. The implications of this are quite concerning. Because loneliness is a risk factor for “all-cause morbidity and mortality” and is associated with cognitive decline, depression, and decreased resistance to infection, it is particularly worrisome that older people are vulnerable to social isolation (Fakoya et al., 2020, p. 2). Older adults also face many barriers to connection including living alone, experiencing chronic illness, or losing family members. All things considered, with more than 55 million adults over the age of 65 currently living in the United States, this is an extremely important topic of conversation.
As a marriage and family therapist who is passionate about working with adults across the lifespan, I love hearing about new ways to support older communities in a therapeutic context. But how might we be able to support these individuals in our everyday lives? Below, I’ve compiled eight ways to connect with an older adult in your life. While the majority of these ideas come from past experiences of mine, they are also inspired by the literature surrounding senior loneliness and social isolation. Of course, this list is not exhaustive! I encourage you to share your own thoughts in the comment section below.
Text fun photo updates of your life to an older adult
Sometimes, sending a hand-written letter or speaking on the phone for an hour feels overwhelming amidst our busy schedules. But how about a quick text? If you have an older adult in your life who regularly uses their cell phone, consider sending them a “Thinking of you!” text with a selection of your favorite 5-10 photos from the past month. If you’d like to go the extra mile, you might consider captioning each image as if you’re formatting an Instagram feed just for them.
2. Send an email to a mentor or teacher
While this suggestion is not exclusive to older mentors or teachers, it’s a lovely way to extend a hand and share a bit of your story with someone from your past. Do you have a baseball coach or middle school teacher who supported you during your childhood? Perhaps a professor from college you haven’t spoken to in many years? Consider sending an email to say hello and express gratitude for their impact on your life.
3. Ask a parent or grandparent to tell you a story
Ah, storytelling! A magical, connective intergenerational tool. When was the last time you called a parent, grandparent, or loved one and simply asked them to tell you a story? “I was thinking about you and was wondering: can you tell me about growing up in X town?” or “What is the funniest thing that has ever happened to you?”!
4.Teach an older adult about something you love
If you have the ability to spend time with an older person in your community, consider offering to teach them about something you know. Has this person seen that new BeReal app yet, or how it works? Have they ever edited a photo themselves on their camera roll? Additionally, it can be fun to share about your favorite new musicians or TV shows. Explore what you might have in common together!
5. Share a meal over the phone
While geographic distance and difficult circumstances like the pandemic may make it difficult to share a meal in close quarters with a beloved older adult, sharing lunch or dinner over the phone can be a fun way to connect! Consider setting aside a 30 minute or 1 hour chunk of time to call, FaceTime, or Zoom with an older adult over a shared meal. Bonus: share a recipe with each other beforehand and make the same breakfast, lunch, or dinner!
6. Press play on a short workout video together
If you live in the same household as an older person or are able to meet with them face-to-face, this can be an extremely fun way to get moving. There are tons of great workout videos on Youtube generated for an older population: some that require a bit more movement (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ev6yE55kYGw) and others that only require a chair (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ts-deSDnRM). Why not play some fun music while working out, too?
7. Write a holiday or gratitude letter
If you love writing or drawing, this is a lovely way to connect with individuals in your community. Find a senior living community near you and call ahead to see if their activity coordinator or manager is a) available to accept however many hand-written letters you would like to craft and b) has any logistical specifications when writing or delivering the letters. By yourself or with friends, sit down and craft a few letters using hopeful, warm language. Don’t be afraid to bring out crayons or colored markers!
If you would like additional support with this process, GlamourGals is an amazing volunteering organization that has letter-writing resources. In fact, their “My Dear Friend” initiative has supported over 70,000 older adults already! If you are interested in getting in touch with their team, refer to the link below.
8. Volunteer at a local senior center
Lastly, consider volunteering your time (and/or talents!) at a local senior center or senior living community. As a high schooler, I was able to call a nearby assisted living facility to offer my time playing the piano for the residents during their lunch hour. Depending on your interests, you could offer to play music, help with arts and crafts, engage in conversation with residents, etc. Get creative with it and have fun!
Links & References
GlamourGals Organization: https://www.glamourgals.org/get-involved/professionals
Fakoya, O. A., McCorry, N. K., & Donnelly, M. (2020). Loneliness and social isolation interventions for older adults: A
scoping review of reviews. BMC Public Health, 20(1), 1–14. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-020-8251-6
National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine. (2020). Social Isolation and Loneliness in Older Adults:
Opportunities for the Health Care System. Washington, DC: The National Academies Press.
https://doi.org/10.17226/25663
U.S. Census Bureau. (n.d.). S0103 - POPULATION 65 YEARS AND OVER IN THE UNITED STATES. U.S.
Department of Commerce. Retrieved October 7, 2022, from https://data.census.gov/cedsci/table?q=s0103
